Note: This series intentionally complements that of Hännah Schlaudt, “A Desperate Housewife to Be? Delighting in God’s Design for Femininity” as hosted by Beauty from the Heart. Construction will like continue on the site as the series goes forward.

Go to college. Graduate with $25,000 in savings. Get a steady job. Meet a pretty girl. Talk to her dad. Court. Get married. Buy a house. Live life (and all to the glory of God, to boot). That’s the “big picture” image of what many a conservative Christian young man has envisioned for his future, and for what a responsible, “manly” Christian life looks like. After all, it meets what we typically define as the roles of manhood – provision and protection. Contrast it with the more common “big picture” image of masculinity these days: Go to college. Party. Graduate. Start working to pay off loans. Date around to find Mrs. Right. Propose. Get married. Live life. Now, it’s important to note that these are basically only “ideals” of either side that is given here. Yet, it is still essentially getting at the roles of protector and provider. In essence, all are agreed on what manhood involves principally.

John Piper, in his book What’s the Difference? (Crossway 1990) defines masculinity in this way:

“At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.” (22)

If the problem were in agreeing on definitions, then this would not be an issue to address in the Church. Yet, what has proven to be the case, time and time again, is that men are not really pursuing these roles Biblically and with discernment. We assume that making lots of money makes us good providers. We assume that living in a suburban neighborhood or installing a security system and not letting our kids run rampant over all creation makes us good protectors. We assume that if we love our wives, love our children and devote ourselves faithfully to seeing them prosper in that regard, we are going to fulfill what God has called us to do. Even though I speak as if I am married and have children, I am not. I am one single guy, who isn’t currently “courting” or “dating”, with the hopes of being a husband and father in the somewhat-near future and yet, I find it impossible for us to separate our masculinity from how we function in the family. The truth of the matter is, brothers – whether you are married, engaged, courting/dating, or single – we are failing at Biblical masculinity if we think that by providing and protecting in the ways presented above, we are fulfilling God’s design and intention for us in the Creation!

In 1 Corinthians 16:13, Paul commands that the men there to “act like men”. In another place, he expresses desire for men (1 Timothy 2). In yet another place, he exhorts the men to relationship (1 Timothy 5). Still more he urges men to action (Titus 2:6). Even more amazing than these words of the Apostle Paul is the writing of John in 1 John 2, as he writes and addresses men specifically with the echoes of God’s voice flooding from every word. There is much that the Scriptures have to say to men…and about men. And I suppose that were one to write on every thing, you could easily produce a series of books, not simply a short series. The point is, gentlemen, we have a need and we need to recognize it. When it gets down to it, most of us do not have a Biblical framework for expressing our masculinity, even if we can baptize our framework with Biblical terminology.

I plead with you then, for the sake of your sisters in Christ, for your wives and children, for the good of the Church, for the good of your fellow men and, above all, for the sake of Christ, take time to hear the Word of God. Let us search out the Word for His intentions, designs, and amazing plan for us. Let us see where God has forbidden our entrance, and where we should flourish. Let us see and understand more deeply the significance of God’s good creation of gender. Let us call on God to give us wisdom and insight to lead and live well in the light of the glory of the Gospel of God in Christ Jesus. Brothers, will you join me in this adventure? There is more to come and much more to see in the Word of God.