Pastors Mark Driscoll and James MacDonald recently visited Haiti to encourage and support the Church there. I would encourage you to watch this and see what is happening there and to encourage people to generously give to support the work of God in Haiti.

“Where you at school?”

“Geneva College.”

“What’re you studying?”

“Christian Ministries”

“That’s wonderful. What year are you?”

“I’m in my senior year.”

“Oh, that’s great. What’s next?”

“We’re…uh….working on that.”

What you read above has become a familiar conversation in the last several months. If you’re like most other college students out there, you’ll face this question sometime in your life – whether it’s graduating high school, trying to get your kids to graduate high school, or some other so-called “stage” in life. It’s such a great question to ask, but a terrifying one to find yourself in a position of answering. I don’t know why we think it’s different for everyone else when we ask it, but we do and many of us, though we may state with confidence what we are pursuing can rarely, when the day draws near, state the “next step” with the kind of certainty we’d like.

And I know a lot of Christians, myself included, who don’t like that. The weakness in me wants to call out “Unfair!” The childishness in me insists on seeing what is above me, beyond me, and too much for me to handle. Oh sure, we come up with a lot of “helps” to deal with that problem, too: tests that will pinpoint our star career field or who we’re most compatible with, desperate pursuit of supernaturally-given knowledge and direction, the counsel of every pastor and wise(r) person we can find. We spend so much time trying to figure out the future – even the immediate future, that it’s almost become a characteristic of young evangelicals.

I’m not here to say we need to pay more attention to the present. That’s both another issue in and of itself, as well as yet another weak attempt to clear the mist. The fact is, looking at your feet when you’ve no idea where you’re going isn’t going to cut it. What I am here to say is that God has not given us 20/20 foresight, impeccable discernment or all the resources to make the best decision possible at every possible point in time. And that’s okay. It’s infuriating to our weakness, but it’s okay.

So, what to do? I’m not sure that there is a one-size-all answer to that question. But I know sitting by and waiting for all the ambiguities, shadows, mists, and distant points to clear up is not faithfulness. It’s not what God’s called us to. It’s not pressing on. In his letter to Jewish exiles, James the brother of Jesus wrote the following exhortation:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. (James 4:13-17 ESV)

Again, I have no 12-step process. I don’t think God’s given us that sort of outline. But James has given us the boundaries of faithfulness: be humble, be submissive to the Lord’s providential will, and do it. And if you don’t, you will know the guilt of your sin in failing to act on the time – this life that quickly vanishes – that God has given you to glorify Him.

If you think that this puts all the burden on you, we have something more for us: the promise that God has guaranteed His glory, guaranteed the harvest, and guaranteed the redemption of all that He bought with His blood:

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:26-32)

I’d be willing to walk a far distance for A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life. In a stroke of writing genius, Donald Miller has given people a challenge far more imperative than The Purpose Driven Life and other similar books. While reflecting on the process of adapting one of his previously published books for the silver screen, Don discovered something about life: it’s really a story and it really needs to be a good one, and if we don’t have a good story in our lives, we’re profoundly (and rightly) dissatisfied. So, Don wants his readers to get a better story.

I enjoyed A Million Miles from the first page until the last page of the acknowledgments. The challenge is provocative and vital. The approach is transparent and humorous. The satisfaction from reading is high. A prayerful reader will benefit greatly from pondering and reflecting about the story that they are telling with their lives. Are you living a good story? Are you the character that God has called you to be? Don won’t answer those questions for you, but he does give you the chance to find out for yourself.

Maybe soon, I will see God and Jesus. At least that is what I was told. Eternal life does NOT depend on works. If it did, we will all be in hell. Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I or you be judged BY GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid. People judge but that does not matter. I was reading the Bible and The Integrity of God beginning yesterday, because soon I will see them.

These are the last recorded words of George Sodini, a 48 year old man who was the perpetrator on a very violent shootup in a Pittsburgh suburb Tuesday evening. These words were written Monday evening. I don’t ordinarily write about “news” and events that are well-covered by media outlets. But this was home territory for me. Even more, this man’s plight – lonely isolation and rejection by everyone he knew, except for very superficial contact – and the extreme violence that he committed in response, demands some consideration. Disciples of Jesus, the Man of Sorrows, ought to be like their Master, they ought to be acquainted with grief.

George was lonely. Incredibly so. He was not, as far as we know, a person with mental disorders or any typical predictors of socially destructive behavior. He had a steady job, had been promoted, made pretty good money, had two parents in the home when he was growing up, and nothing particularly different about his experience than anyone else…except the social world which rejected him. What Sodini did was wrong. Yes, he is responsible. But he was a man who fell victim, not just to the demons of the spiritual world, but also to the demons of loneliness and rejection that are assailing so many in our world today.

It’s brokenness. It’s the consequences of sin. It’s the ploy of Satan. This last paragraph in his journal contains a lot of true statements, but George did not have the whole story. He did not learn about repentance. He did not learn about turning his rebel heart over to the sovereign lordship of Jesus. The point is this: Satan’s work does not extend only to hiding the truth. It can also be with telling only part of the truth. And if you doubt Satan had anything to do with this…In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. (2 Cor. 4:4).

These words should both sadden us and drive us to the cross. We need mercy. We need courage. We need to speak up. We need to love people. We need to be a part of the healing that God has for these broken people – the brokenness that was part of our own lives before Jesus saved us. We need to do something. So let’s get going.

I like walking barefoot…doesn’t much matter where: grassy fields, hot asphalt, brick-laid  paths, and – my favorite – a wet beach, right on the shoreline. The other day, I took a walk along Lake Erie. At first, I kept my sandals on, letting the water lap at my feet as I went. Eventually, I decided that I wanted to go barefoot. As I was walking further along, I noticed something: my feet were sinking, sliding, and slipping. And there’s nothing unnatural about that. Sand, particularly wet sand that’s being barraged by the waves of Lake Erie, is not the most stable piece of ground you can choose to walk on. But there was a strong difference between my experience of walking barefoot and what it had been like with sandals on. When the sandals were on, my feet didn’t sink, slide or slip.

God used this moment to teach me something. When I was younger, my mom had us memorize Ephesians 6:10-20, which is about the armor of God. It’s pretty easy to understand the use of a shield, a sword, a helmet and most of the other pieces that Paul talks about in this large metaphor for the equipping power of the Holy Spirit. But having “as shoes for your feet, the readiness given by the gospel of peace” isn’t as obvious a need (Eph. 6:15). Yet, clearly, for whatever reason – and I don’t claim to understand how – having shoes on gives us stability in our walk and prevents the ground from coming around to trap your feet.

As I was thinking on this insight that God had shown me, it struck me that I wasn’t quite sure what it meant to be clothing my feet with the Gospel. A few suggestions came to mind but I quickly dismissed them. They didn’t hold up to the standard of the passage. Fulfilling the Great Commission (“how beautiful the feet of those who bring good news”) didn’t answer the warlike urgency of the passage. Salvation itself wasn’t in view, since Paul had assigned that to the helmet. So what was it?

So I turned to Ephesians to study some more and see what God would show me. If there’s one thing about Ephesians, it’s a rich epistle. In God’s New Society, John Stott informs us that it was Calvin’s favorite letter. He also tells us that the poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge described it as “the Queen of the Epistles” (Stott 15). Rightly so. Of all the Pauline epistles, Ephesians is the most elegant, with the largest themes, and having, at its center, the exaltation of Christ in the heavenly places, and the promise of God’s people sharing in those riches.

But “peace” is a big word in Ephesians, too. Ephesians 2 is riddled with references to it. “For [Christ] himself is our peace…that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace…And he came and preached peace to you who were far off  [Gentiles] and peace to those who were near [Jews]” (Ephesians 2:14, 15, 17). The next reference is in Ephesians 6:15, as the “gospel of peace.” So, we have peace with God, are reconciled to those people we were once at war with, and this gospel we have received has been given us by Christ Himself. The Gospel’s reconciling work – us to God, and us to all mankind – is the gospel of peace that we are called to walk in. And when we step (live) in the reality of that truth, we stand firm and the instability and frailty of our lives in this present age will never trip us up.

Living this truth out isn’t difficult in the explaining, but in the doing. We must walk knowing that we are at peace with God – that no sin or any other barrier stands between us and Him because of the work of Christ.  However, we must also walk knowing that we have been called to be at peace with all people – that no loyalty or any other barrier stands between us and them because of the same work of Christ.

Disciple of Christ, it is time to lay down arms. You have been put at peace with God, so lay down works of your flesh and self righteousness. You have been put at peace with everyone, so lay down your separation, your division, your competition. You know the commandments! “And [Christ] said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all you heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39). No qualifications. No exceptions. Just the command of a Holy God, the work of a Savior Who makes it possible, and the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

I have been reflecting a bit on this flight back to the States – mostly sleeping, but some reflecting. One of the things that struck me about being in Zambia was how at-home I felt almost every moment. It didn’t matter that I only knew a few words in Bemba and our co-workers weren’t the best English-speakers….I was comfortable. Some would say that I felt this way because that was clearly where God wanted me, but I think that puts too much credit to my account. Rather, I am coming to believe that I felt this way because I was living in the open door of ministry that God had provided.

Contentment in ministry will never be found in a paycheck, in relationships, or even in the quantitative success of your work…it can only come from entering and living in the open door God provides. For Paul, those doors were sometimes behind bars (Philippians)…and sometimes it was years in a city (Acts 28 in Rome). But in the pursuit of Christ, the training of His Lord forced him to embrace these doors. I hope, as much as anything else God has taught me on this trip, that He will allow me to see the doors He provides.

PS: Not much conversation on the flight back…didn’t get seats by English-speakers until we were flying from D.C. to Pittsburgh. Really made me wish I knew Bemba or Swahili!

Note: This concludes the Zambia journal for E-Team 2009. Hope you were blessed by it! -DK

I’ll be honest here…I don’t want to write in this journal right now. Important conversation and my body’s insistent demands for sleep provide, to my mind, plent of reason not to write tonight. But where, then, is grace? So, I write.

There’s not a whole lot to write, however. Today was our drive from Ndola to Lusaka. We are staying at Lilayi Lodge – a very nice compound which maintains a safari-like game reserve. Tomorrow at 8:30 AM, we will depart, eventually getting to Lusaka Int’l Airport to begin our final leg of travel back to Pittsburgh. I’m very curious to see what God will do.

These last few days have been interesting at the least…utterly captivating at the most. Sunday was incredibly restful – two fantastic worship services serving as bookends to a shopping trip in Kitwe and the provocation to a soul-sifting discussion that night, both with the team and my roommate.

Monday brought us the challenge of our goal: ten courses of cement block or each of the four classrooms. This was followed by another fine dinner (and a lot of head calculations for bill-paying) at Michaelangelo’s and yet another soul-sifter of a conversation.

Today, we met out goal – mostly. Due to an apparent shortness of mortar availability and a delay in sand for cement arriving on Monday morning, we were unable to get all ten courses for the storage rooms and offices by the classrooms…but the classroom walls are finished! God was so faithful in that building process.

That is the “okay” stuff. Us site works had an opportunity yesterday and today to meet and be blessed by the kids at Lighthouse Christian School. Phenomenal, energetic, needy children who sing praises to Jesus (Yesu Krist) with joy. Not only that, but God has answered our prayers and each of the men from the site heard and indicated a desire to respond to the Gospel!!!! I pray God will bear glorious fruit in their lives!

Now for the title…Sunday and Tuesday evenings, I went to the hotel bar with three other guys from the team. Sebastian, a wonderful Christian man, was bartending Sunday evening and prevailed upon me to try a Mosi, which is a lager produced right here in Ndola. The Mosi was not the point, but the conversations and fellowship with my teammate and our bartenders – Sebastian and Chris – that came because of sitting there having a Mosi were beneficial to my soul.

It reminded me of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus Jesus taught them so much as they conversed, but it was in the table fellowship that they saw their Master. Jesus is certainly in these kinds of situations…

I got a new name today. Vincent, one of the crew members told me “I know what I call you in Bemba – Umuntu.” I asked him what it meant. Gesturing towards himself with both hands, as if gathering air to his chest, he said, “It means you’re like me. Like me!” It is amazing that just working with these guys, even when I’ve not been the best conversationalist, has given us a bond that is friendly and open – a world where we see each other as men, with mutual respect and honor.

So many connections…new faces and names and friendly bonds forming. My heart is tied to Zambia and I will serve this people in whatever ways God allows as I pursue my calling. God help me if it drives away any who would otherwise support me.

While today was our halfway point for work days, the paradox of working here is while we have taken great strides in progressing on the school, it is really only the beginning…so twambe nichito (let’s get to work) is certainly appropriate. The work crew is an energetic, hard-working bunch who have definitely been given the short end of the stick, but who demonstrate remarkable spirit in the face of it. I pray God would draw them to Himself and grow the seeds of faith that we are attempting to plant.

On a completely unrelated note…we jumped in the pool today. Ice-cold and without much incentive to move, Jason and I didn’t stay in too long…hot shower water is a blessing (and we do have it!).

There was a fire today in the valley. Not the first we’ve seen…but it was quckly contained by the village residents. The resilience, energy and vigor demonstrated by these Zambians is a challenge to me. If they can go about the most mundane, day-to-day sameness with such energy – why should I, or any Christian, be that different?